From birth we are moulded, programmed, conditioned and shaped by the matrix. Through religion, education, mainstream culture and economic circumstance we are given clear parameters as to how to think, behave and be. For many of us this is a forced prison. We cannot be who we truly are because who we truly are contradicts who we are supposed to be. Survival requires lies, deception, and fear driven conformity. I share this in the knowledge that not all of us can be who we truly are outwardly, knowing who we are on the inside strengthens us.
When people ask me ‘how do you know you are starseed or a volunteer?’ I wonder how can I help this person understand? I know I’m not from here. I know this because I have always felt alien here. The things I naturally do and say unfailingly make those around me uncomfortable, uneasy and suspicious. Faced with a choice, stay true to yourself or change your outward behaviour, many of us are forced to conform or accept derision, or worse, in the eyes, voices and actions of those around us. By the time I was 8 I was pointing to the sky and questioning chemtrails, verbally challenging the Jesuit priests who taught me and being called a witch by other children. By the time I was 14 I understood the world was being run by a small group of evil, white men. I also understood that the things I thought about the world were opposed to the accepted narrative. By the time I was 21 I was going off the rails, lost in a world I was unable to navigate. By my 30s I had stabilised, was working as a teacher in inner city schools, and had a varied and interesting group of friends. No-one knew my secret, stealth mode had become a way of life. I trusted no-one in authority. I played the matrix game, researching and writing in private. When I met my husband to be, on the shores of a quiet, beautiful Scottish loch, I came out to him. No other person in my life at that time had any idea I understood how and why the cabal operated on planet earth.
And then I discovered the starseed network online, read Dolores Cannon’s books, found a QHHT practitioner, and in sessions all that I had known in my bones was confirmed. My life changed. Now I am out and proud. But I have lost friends. People openly show suspicion, mockery and sometimes hostility. I find myself too often in a defensive position. I am not a preacher, I am not a wanna be guru, I am not fake. I am who I have always been, I’ve just come out the closet. I’m fortunate to have supportive people who love me, but it’s a small number, many have walked as far away as they can get. I’m also now in a strange position where new people that I meet can go online and know just how alien I am before they even know my surname!
To be who we truly are may be impossible for some of us at this time. In many countries you can be imprisoned or worse for being different, by just being you, you challenge the status quo. I recognise the painful truth of endemic racism, homophobia and mysogyny programmed into society at such a deep, subliminal level that even those who think they aren’t racist, homophobic or sexist, are. I empathise with those pushed to the edges of our communities for being who they are. I respect barriers, armour, constructed walls of protection. Who we are on the outside, our human suit, in my case white, female and straight, is what we are conditioned to respond to. It frustrates me every day. If stealth mode is the safest strategy for you I send you my love, my understanding and my compassion. This world is transforming, the unified expansion of consciousness is happening, hang in there and stay safe.
The matrix ideal, white, straight, male is also a fallacy. The highest suicide rates are men not women. The pressure to be what the matrix dictates we should be, cogs in the wheel, obedient and limited in our thinking is immense. No creativity, no imagination, no daydreaming, work, work, work. No-one except the small group of rich, white men benefit, not even their spoilt, neglected, lost children or their insecure, soon to be exchanged for the younger model, wives. Whoever originally constructed the matrix, whatever their motivation was, the Age of Aquarius is dismantling it one sick, twisted algorithm at a time. We are being blasted by photons, solar flares, cosmic waves of higher frequencies, decommissioning the matrix hologram from above, below and within. For many of us it’s not fast enough, we are still fighting for our sanity in a society that thinks it’s the only intelligent life form in the only universe, theirs. In a world where to be a woman, gay, non white, or different is to have the odds stacked against us, every single day is a challenge. Learning mindfulness and meditation, a holistic way of living that resonates in my core, has been the key to finding a happier existence on planet earth. Stay connected to this lifetime, to nature, to your inner truth, and know this – you are not alone and everything is changing. In love and light beautiful people.
Mantra: I know my name, I know my name, I know my name.
I accept this lifetime, I connect to Gaia and her beauty, I am grateful for all that is blessed in my life.
I share love, I receive love, I am love.